I waited to do this until the DVD was released. After watching it again for the first time since I saw it at the theater, I can't conceal my disappointment in this one but (to me) it's more forgivable than my disappointment in The Force Awakens due to a love and connection to the characters. I won't carry on for two lengthy essays about this like I did TFA because I really did like the fun and outlandish adventures that come with the Pirate's franchise and the solid, established characters. Especially Barbosa. However, I will point out the flaws, offer some fixes, and lament the state of movies nowadays.
This movie is kind of a copy of the first three and even in an interview, Bloom said it was a "soft reboot." Indeed, this was a mixing of former concepts in effort to bring Will and Elizabeth's sufferings to an end. I appreciate that they wanted to do that but with just a little more thought put into it, they could've kept it original and it could've made just a little more sense. There was no need to reboot or remake anything, which is the unfortunate trend of late. It would've only taken some very minor tweaking and they wouldn't have even had to change any of the new characters too much. Instead they chose to try and sell the inconsistencies and continuity errors as though they wouldn't be noticed or objected to by fans. Things such as Jack's compass, which was clearly stated in the second movie as being bartered to him by Tia Dalma. Instead, he receives it as a youth in this movie from a dying pirate captain. And even after the scene attached to the ending credits of the third movie showing us that Will is fulfilling his Charon-like role faithfully and therefore not subject to the "tenticlely" torments of Davy Jones, he turns up at the beginning of this movie with barnacles on his face, miserable and grouchy at his son who appears to be younger than 10 which is also inconsistent with that scene. (I could be wrong about that.. that boy may have just looked too young.) The story as a whole seemed to be slapped together in a hurry with no effort put into character development. (Yet, another sad trend of late.) Henry Turner was ready made for the story so there was no need to spend any time on him. But Jack's character was almost perfunctory. Even though he's always been a crazy mess, a washed up Jack who doesn't have that subtle, almost magical control of all situations isn't as much fun and even a little sad. The best "Jack" scene was cut from the movie in which he was teaching Henry a lesson about drawing his sword similar to the lesson he taught Will in the first movie. The girl is a cliché... an excuse to have a female character spouting off about the unfair treatment of women (since everything has to be politicized; everything - all the time... just like Elizabeth was ostracized for wearing pants and throwing in with pirates of all nations... oh, wait...) Even though it stays light-heartedly funny and not overly preachy, it's still a shallow plot device and makes it hard to feel a connection to Carina, even after she's revealed to be Barbosa's daughter. And the fact that she refused to believe in cursed dead pirates as a woman of science while at the same time she was seeking a magic pitchfork only detracted from her intelligence. It totally defeated the purpose of what they were trying to make of her. The character of Salazar is very charismatic and fun to watch as long as you don't think too hard about the fact that his curse is a cross between Barbosa's from the first movie and Davy Jones'. From the moment I saw that he couldn't step on land, I was expecting some kind of showdown between him and Will since Will can't go on land either, but it never happened. The generalized claim that ghosts can't step on land is an inconsistency as well... That rule only applied to Jones. Cursed Barbosa and company raided the village in the first movie. I'm glad they didn't go further in politicizing the movie by continuing with the original plan to make Salazar a gay character. That probably would have been a deal breaker for me. And I also noticed that they didn't have a scene where you see a character (or characters) from behind walking up onto a beach (because they've just been stranded there somehow) and looking dejectedly behind them in the direction of the camera. Those scenes are like familiar mile markers scattered throughout the movies. It was kind of lonely to have a movie without them.
It didn't have to be like this though. Just a little more effort would've made it all better. They were pursuing the artifact of a sea god. Calypso was a sea goddess and now that she's returned to her form of the raging sea they wouldn't have needed to bring her back or recast her, but simply build on her story and weave it into the backstory of this film in order to iron out the inconsistencies. She could've been Posiden's daughter while Salazar could've been her brother from another mother (not uncommon in Greek Mythology.) And being at odds with dear brother (also not uncommon in the old myths,) she used the compass to dispatch him in the past. Heck, the compass could've originally been Salazar's. There could've still been a flash back with Jack and the compass, but only in as far as he could've first seen the compass and knew it would be his one day. Perhaps she'd utilized a young Barbosa at the time with the compass which would tie his character in better with the story, even though his presence was the best and most sensible part of the movie anyway. Then, upon being cursed himself by the Aztec gold, Calypso could've taken it back and bartered it to Jack at some point in order to protect her curse on Salazar. It would serve to reinforce the natural rivalry that always existed between Jack and Barbosa. They could've also taken a moment to think of a better way of utilizing the compass than simply writing it as selling the compass was the key to unlocking the curse... that's why they get paid the big bucks. I'm thinking for free here. Alter Salazar's curse slightly so that it affects him as being unable to move around on land - perhaps having him constantly and comically melt down into the tide when he tries to leave his ship, or even in shallow water since he was so obviously part of the sea (endlessly floating hair and clothes) - and the originality could've stayed in tact. It would've been different than the rules that applied to Davy Jones and it would also thwart the inconsistency that no ghosts can step on land. Salazar would've been bound to the sea like Calypso had been bound to a human body. Maybe Salazar had given Jones the idea and Calypso got her revenge using his own compass on him. At any rate, there's a lot of untapped potential there. Moving on, at the beginning I wouldn't have used Will, but only a despondent Elizabeth (so she wouldn't have to have speaking lines) inspiring Henry to study the Trident and take action. After all, only being able to see the love of your life every ten years is hell enough... Will didn't need to suffer the same fate as Jones to make their sorrows unnecessarily dramatic. By cutting his appearance at the beginning they could've spent a little more time with Henry's mission. Inventing more details about the myth of the Trident could've been a way of tying Carina to it in a personal way that would've given her character more depth and likability. See, it only takes a little imagination to connect these dots and keep things fairly fresh while moving towards the final goal of freeing Will Turner which brings the closure that they wanted to give the fans. Throughout it all, the character of Jack could've easily been more important to everything coming together like he had been in the last four... especially if my ideas regarding Barbosa and the compass were used. And Barbosa didn't have to die either. Although I admit that he and Jack are almost like Highlanders - there can be only one! - they could've had Barbosa resurface and even retire to a farm with his daughter, temporarily "going straight"... at least until the next adventure calls. And they still can... I've seen rumors of a sixth movie. But I hope, with all my heart, they put more time, effort, and care into making it if there is one.
I just don't understand why Hollywood types give up so soon and don't even try to work on substance anymore in pursuit of the most simple and base of action formats. I can't believe that most people are like children who have stopped caring about good story telling and are ready to settle for anything because they're told by the people pushing these reboot projects that this is what's cool now and they are therefore obligated to love it in order to be popular and appear culture savvy. I also can't believe that people have become so shallow that they aren't interested in or appreciative of truly new attempts at innovative, "continuing adventures" (as I considered the fourth movie to be) but only in old concepts that have been redressed and repackaged as "new." I just find it all depressing and a little disturbing as well.
But still, I liked it and I bought it since it goes with the others, albeit like a badly cut puzzle piece that's been forced into place. The vignette of dragging a bank building around, releasing the Black Pearl from her bottle, and sneaking in a Paul McCartney cameo fit in nicely with the rest of the lore that surrounds this universe. I have a soft spot for the secondary characters, especially Gibbs and the scene where he totally throws Scrum under the bus is epic. He kind of deserved it for being the "story teller" of the fourth movie instead of Gibbs.... lol. The effects are always amazing. The climax at the ravine in the ocean was inspired and fits in perfectly with the other fantasy elements created for these movies. There was a cut scene in which a whale passed by Jack and Carina when they first landed at the bottom that I wish they would've kept in. I love how they designed Salazar and I wasn't kidding when I praised his charismatic performance. He's a wonderful antagonist in the mold of Barbosa and Blackbeard. The consequential designs of the living-dead birds and sharks were equally as cool. And everything Geoffrey Rush does is gold. So that's my detailed review of this movie... a mixture of love and let down.
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